A Simplex Complex

Nowhere on Earth is there a more complex creature -- more involute of mind, or more elaborate of emotions -- than the American male of adult responsibilities. This fact causes American women quite a lot of agita. The agita arises from frustration. A typical expression of that frustration can be found here: http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-04-16/girl-talk-hes-not-the-problem-its-your-unreasonable-expectations/

"Women try to interpret what guys do as though it means something more. They're simple creatures, but when they do or say something we don't particularly like, we go one of two ways, depending on our relationship status. If we barely know them, we give them the benefit of the doubt and THEN SOME. If we've been in a relationship with them for years, any little thing they say or do that isn't exactly WHAT we want to hear WHEN and HOW we want to hear it, they're an asshole who doesn't understand us and our relationship is a mess."

The American woman's frustration arises NOT from men's supposed simplicity, but from her inability -- or unwillingness -- to comprehend her man's mental structure. That stems from an aspect of male "engineering." It's rather obvious to any man who's thought about it for as much as five seconds. However, it's apparently opaque to the lesser sex, which impels them to invent their common notions about how we're really "simple" creatures that possess a mysterious ability to resist their wiles.

Heads up, ladies: As we in the technologies are well aware, a complex system should have as simple a user interface as possible. The American male's "user interface" is charmingly simple, perhaps even optimal:

1. We pursue what we want, unless convinced that we can't have it or it's not worth its price.
2. We respect honesty, candor, and ability demonstrated by achievement.
3. We respond positively to forthrightness and negatively to manipulation.
4. We believe in rewarding the good, punishing the bad, and being upfront about both.
5. In the main, we like ourselves as we are, and take umbrage at attempts to "improve" us.

Deal with a man from those precepts, and your interactions with him will be gratifying, even profitable.

If you ponder the above five points for just a moment, you can easily grasp why we react adversely to attempts to "manage" us. Tell us what you want, and you have a decent chance of getting it. Try to manipulate, maneuver, or corner us into doing as you wish, and we'll bend space and time to deny it to you. Women are all too often inclined toward "managing" their menfolk, a path that frequently eventuates in sorrow.

The reasons are not far to seek. Men's innate aggression makes them the natural leaders of the mating dance; women are therefore in a reactive position as a potential romance begins. Once the thing is well under way -- generally, with the inception of a sexual relationship -- his outward conduct is likely to change. Since men tend to regard the beginning of physical intimacy as a signal that they've "sealed the deal," and that the relationship has shifted from its "inception" phase to a "maintenance" phase, he might cease to seem quite as courtly to her as previously. His conduct will almost certainly lose the importuning quality that a suitor normally exhibits to the object of his affections. This can induce her to fear that she's lost value in his eyes. In the usual case, nothing could be further from the truth. Still, it can be hard not to suspect such a thing, given that the wining and dining have partway been displaced by bill paying, lawn care, and fretting over property taxes.

Her challenges are twofold. First, she must resist the urge to reinstate the conditions of their courtship, in which he was required to please her to win her favors. Second, she must resist the impulse to regard him as someone who "needs to change." He'll detect -- and resent -- any attempts to manipulate him, quite as much from his beloved as from his work supervisor.

The female tendency to salve her frustrations by classifying men as "simple creatures" is merely self-flattering self-deception. She who can resist that temptation is more likely to derive long-term satisfaction from her mate than she who maintains that Woman, in her double-X complexity and superior wisdom, knows better than Man what's best for him.