1919 Montana high school humor.

This is from the 1919 yearbook for Great Falls High School.^[1]

The study of agriculture at our high school is having its effect on the boys and girls there judging by the following note written by one of the boys to a girl who will be recognized as a very charming from the description: I 'early rose' this morning and have 'bean' wondering if you 'carrot' all for me. My love is soft as 'squash' but strong as 'onion.' For you are a 'peach' with your 'radish' hair and your 'turnip' nose. You are the 'apple' of my eye, so if we 'cantaloupe' then 'lettuce' marry anyhow, for I know we will live in 'peas" and make a happy 'pear'. I never touch 'rye' and my feet, although large, have not a 'corn.' I am somewhat 'punkin', earning money but you shall have 'mangle' in the kitchen. Love always 'triumphs.' It is said that the girl replied and told him to 'beet' it.

More:

Miss Ketchum, (reading a test paper): "Yes, we have a pretty little maid at our house."
Ed. Suhr: "I wouldn't mind having her at ours."

Yet more dry wit:

The following teachers have announced -- !!! ??? nothing but their intentions of spending the summer at the places mentioned:
Miss Shafer—A cottage on Lake Huron.
Miss Strauch—Elgin, Iowa.
Miss Baumgartner—Halsted, Kansas.
Miss Cavanaugh—Saginaw, Mich.
Miss Dush—National Parks.
Mr. Perry—Agricultural College, Oregon.
Miss Simpson—Fairmont, Minn.
Miss Stone—Long Beach, Cal.
Miss Leaming—Summer School, Berkeley, Cal.^[2]
Miss Brown—San Diego, Cal.
Miss Frost—Seattle, Wash.
Miss Murchie—Grand Forks, N. D.
Miss Harrison—Austin, Minn.
Miss Kachen—North Platte, Neb.
Miss Kuck—Montrose, Cal.
Mrs. Cameron—Open for invitations.
Miss Borgman—Seattle, Wash.
Miss Freark—Wherever Miss Ketchum is.
Miss Buckmaster—California.
Miss Barneby—Seattle, Wash.
Mr. Steeper will attend the Univ. Of Chicago Summer School.
The others say they haven't enough money to leave town.

The dreams of youth:

Noteworthy Events of 1919:

I. Great World War ended! Splendid victory for the Allies.
II. Death and permanent burial of John Barleycorn.^[3]
III. Formation of the League of Nations – the dream of a thousand years come true.^[4]
IV. Death of Theodore Roosevelt – most loved American.^[5]
V. Invention of the wireless telephone.
VI. The destructive "Flu" epidemic.
VII. THE SENIOR CLASS OF 1919 GETS THE SPOTLIGHT. NOW WATCH THINGS HAPPEN.

In the Seriously Out of Touch Department:

President Sisson, of Missoula, gave us a most interesting and inspiring lecture of an assembly. He spoke on higher education and Americanism.^[6]

An oddity in the heartland even then:

Glenrose Honey has been in quarantine for several weeks because of small pox.^[7]

Many are the pleasures of genealogy.

P.S. What has happened since then is known as "progress."

Notes
^[1] Roundup Annual (Ancestry.com subscription required. A 2005-character hyperlink, in case you were wondering.), Great Falls High School, Great Falls, Montana, June 1919, p. 97. The extension seen in the foreground of the picture above became unstable and was blown up for the benefit of the makers of the Charlie Bronson movie "Telefon."
^[2] Uh oh.
^[3] Prohibition.
^[4] Globalism's early appeal.
^[5] And noted imperialist.
^[6] Roundup Annual, supra, p. 96.
^[7] Id. "By 1897, smallpox had largely been eliminated from the United States. In Northern Europe a number of countries had eliminated smallpox by 1900, and by 1914, the incidence in most industrialized countries had decreased to comparatively low levels." Wikipedia (footnote reference omitted).