Where We Are At Today

Years ago, America married a crazy woman. In the pre-nup process, she insisted on certain conditions before she would sign.

Oh, she did hint that she would - AFTER the wedding and all the excitement, once things calmed down - that she would be willing to re-visit those terms that we disliked so much. She smiled and teased about all the great things that would follow the wedding, and leaned in close, and - well, you know how it went from there.

So, we signed the pre-nup. WITH the disagreeable parts. Because, she was SO sweet, and batted her eyelashes, and breathed deeply, and we just couldn't think straight with all that, and all our friends around us saying, "Go on, sign it. We'll stick by you when time comes to re-negotiate." Those friends had loaned us money, and she had a lot of it, and this wedding would allow us to get on stable financial footing.

So, we signed.

And they patted us on the back, and set off fireworks.

After a few years, she decided she wanted a re-do. And, she got it. Fortunately, one of our guys managed to talk her into amendments to her original ideas - some firm rules to help us be protected against this new, bigger, more comprehensive contract.

Their guys weren't worried. They probably knew that, when push came to shove, they could just ignore them.

Then came the FIRST separation.

We agonized about it. She had her demands, and was going to leave if they were not met, in full. So, one day, she went Waiting to Exhale nuclear on us, and left.

We admit it, we used force to bring her back. Used our checkbook, and drove her into penury. Well, we thought we couldn't live without her.

She didn't come back nice, though. She got some of her male friends to harass us, and anyone who took our side. It was nasty - almost as nasty as the separation.

Over time, she SAID she was over it. Most of our descendants helped us patch things up. Life was beginning to improve.

But, she was biding her time. She hooked up with some foreign friends, and some of those 'gal-pals' who hate men - you know the kind. She didn't leave - then. She did a lot of partying, wild spending, and did her best to come between us and our buddies.

The worst part is what she did to the kids. Our sons had it worst. One of them, she convinced he was really a girl. Another, she called worthless and stupid - he still lives in the basement. I haven't the heart to throw him out after I failed to protect him from her abuse.

And, now, after having taken all of my assets, destroyed my good name, and created havoc throughout my extended family, she says she wants that divorce. This time, she wants the house, the car, and everything - well, except for the bills, which she says are MY responsibility.

She's moved in her new boyfriend and his family - none of them work. The place is starting to look like a crack house.

Her latest trick is to convince the legal system to indict me - I'm not real clear about what the charges are. When I ask, the DA just waves his hands and screams at me. He was, however, real clear about the potential consequences of not pleading guilty - life in prison, no parole. I'm not eager to take that plea, as his evidence is all hearsay or fabricated. The way the media shows it every night, I'm a serial killer/rapist/thief/terrorist. The news people all laugh hysterically when they say it.

I'm hanging in there. The jury gives me hope - they look as confused about the charges as I am. They seem to be decent people. I honestly think I've got a chance.

The lead cop was on TV recently. She was talking to an interviewer, and saying that, even if I was acquitted, I was "a FELON, FOREVER." Then they both laughed and laughed and laughed.

What happens now? Rush has his say in that.