Yes, Yes, Yes

Some of you might have predicted it. "He's too full of shit opinions," you said to yourselves. "He won't manage to keep it all bottled up for long. He'll be back."

And you were right.

Oh, comments are re-enabled, too. But the moderation scheme will be more draconian than ever. Insult me, or any of my co-contributors, at your extreme peril.

UPDATE: Blogger seems reluctant to re-enable comments. Hang in there; I'm working on it.

FURTHER UPDATE: Comments are now enabled for new posts. I'll be updating the settings on the older ones over time.

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Before all else, have a few words about what I've been doing while away.

I didn't expect to feel unending fatigue, ever in my life. When you're used to grueling, grinding physical and mental effort, sixteen-hour days and four-hour nights, year after year after year from your teens to your sixties, you come to believe that you're invincible, unstoppable. But everyone needs something to keep him going, even if it isn't what those around him might think. I discovered what I need in my few weeks away; it wasn't what I'd thought it would be.

(No, I'm not going to tell you what that is. What a man needs is the ultimate weapon against him. Much as I love you all, I'd prefer to withhold the temptation.)

That critical fact about myself came with a corollary: how I could dispel that seemingly permanent state of exhaustion. I did it, and it worked.

My health has returned, apparently in full. I've addressed a great many tasks I'd been putting off for lack of "energy," and completed them all. I've resumed my exercise routines, and have been gratified to discover that I retain very nearly the full strength, speed, and agility of my youth. I've returned to a dormant fiction project, and have brought it nearly to completion. I've picked up my guitar and have ordered a new synthesizer. And I've started a small business to operate alongside my other endeavors.

My people, historically, haven't been long-lived. Perhaps I'll break that mold. At least I won't have wasted what remains of me. For all else, we shall see.

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As to why I was away: the fatigue, of course. (I've already said so, kinda-sorta.) Weariness is the enemy of many a virtue. In my case, it sapped my courage and my perseverance; I found that I was unwilling to endure the slings and arrows any further.

So getting back my energy has brought back my courage and perseverance, and has returned me to Liberty's Torch, hopefully not to depart again. But the story doesn't end there.

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One of the great mysteries of human nature is why we choose to believe certain things, and adopt certain behaviors, that cannot be explained in terms of self-interest.

Many persons are animated by a desire for the approval of other persons, usually persons they admire. The reason for the admiration can be quite idiosyncratic; consider, for example, the significant number of persons who aspire to emulate this politician or that sports figure. But the consequence is what matters: the admirer will strive for the approval of the admiree, and will be dismayed and discouraged when he fails to get it.

There are only Three Persons whose approval I want or need...but in those three cases, I need it badly.

Those Three are beyond admiration or emulation, of course. That could have been a problem. But They recently reminded me about something I'd forgotten: I have the power to create fictional human figures I can admire and try to emulate. I've done it more than once. And each of those fictional heroes, men so much better than I that I could never reach their stature if I lived to be ten thousand, has inspired me to increased effort, and ultimately to rise above the state I occupied before I created them.

It's been said that God works in mysterious ways. Sometimes, He works on you through your own hands.

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Apologies to all those who were saddened by my departure. No promises, but I'll certainly try to resist any such urges in the future. It's not good for me, as I've discovered. And if it pleases you to have me back, blathering a thousand words per minute on every subject under the Sun, so much the better.

Of course, if you were pleased to have me gone, and were enjoying a round of backslapping with other morally-vacuous types -- yo, "ExGeeEye," you know where you can shove it, don't you? -- as the saying goes, I've got two words for you, and they ain't "Happy Birthday."

All my best,
Fran