My sister forwarded me this video by Bill Whittle --
It
is funny, and has a kernel of truth to it (I did these sorts of things
growing up, too, and could do them still if the urge ever really got
hold of me), but it did set me into a bit of a melancholy state, because
it is very easy to make observations like this and come to conclusions
that I think are a bit off and too optimistic.
For some
reason -- well, not for some reason, for the reasons you see in that
video -- Texas has a reputation among outsiders as a rather libertarian
place. I can assure you that such appearances are totally deceiving.
Texas is not really very libertarian in spirit; the only reason you can
do this sort of stuff is because for a large swath of the population,
these kinds of activities are not really remarkable. The only reason
they are not 'regulated' I suspect is that to do so would be too much of
a headache. Whoever granted the permits would be flooded with
paperwork every day, and since nobody cares anyway (at least in the
areas where people do that kind of thing), there would be little point.
But
if, say, you were to go to a public school in Texas, you would probably
see a police car in the parking lot. And you would probably find an
officer somewhere in the building. He would have his own office,
because he's permanently stationed there. This has become a
commonplace. At one time, if there was a fight between students, the
teachers or administrators of the school would deal with it internally.
Now they just have the cop haul them off. The cop is usually a
friendly guy, and the students are usually friendly with him; it doesn't
exactly feel 'oppressive.' But his purpose there is what it is. You
act right, and don't get into fights (or fight back, even) or you go to
jail.
If you looked around, you would likely see
surveillance cameras. Everywhere. Depending on the city, you might
find metal detectors at the entrances, and if you did, likely the kids'
backpacks would be see-through -- obviously, to make it difficult to
carry around contraband.
If I had to distill Texas'
political leanings down to a sentence, I would call it a strange mix of
authoritarianism and don't-give-an-expletive. Basically, our political
system is 'don't make the wrong people mad.' But maybe that's every
political system. I know a man who grew up here and later moved to
Louisiana, and swears that he will never, ever move back because Texas
is 'Communist.' I kid you not, and coming from a man with actual
experience, and not exactly a sentiment easy to square with
'libertarian.' And in an odd sort of way, I understand what he means.
People observe the string of Republican governors and presidential
candidates coming out of our state, the lack of an income tax and all of
that, but they either don't know or forget that Texas was almost
totally and completely dominated by the Democratic party for over a
century. It was very much a one-party state. The Republican thing came
about only very recently. It will probably end.
You
might call it an atmosphere of lackadaisical vindictiveness. Not a lot
of highly cerebral, elaborate political theory, here. No. Texans are
a-okay with the state, so long as the state you are talking about is
their own, and not California, or Massachusetts, or New York, or
Washington D.C. (Do not try to correct my political geography -- I said
no elaborate theories. Anyway, I'm only reporting, not opining.) A
friend from Ohio once quipped that it must be a state law that a picture
of Texas be on every can of beer sold within the state. It is as if
people were worried you might get drunk and forget where you were.
Furthering
the lackadaisicalness, there aren't many rules, not because anybody
actually dislikes rules much, but because, as I said, nobody gives a
flying expletive what anybody else is doing, so long as it is
sufficiently Texan. Until, that is, you break one of the actual rules,
however small, at which point they'll absolutely want to see you fry for
it, so help you God and may He have mercy on your tender soul, because
they for darn sure won't. I did say vindictive, and you can be sure
they mean it. If nobody can find an excuse to shoot you on the spot,
you will go to jail, and if they can find a reason to put a needle in your arm, they will do it with glee.
Hence
the torrid love affair with law enforcement in the state, and the cops
and cameras in the schools, and the general okayness with actual Texas
government.
If I could propose a sort of poetic image of the Texas attitude, it would be a statue of the goddess Lady Justice.
Except in the Texas version, being rather non-cerebral and
irreflective, she would not be hoisting a scales, but maybe a cold
longneck, in recognition of general lackadaisacalness. That would be
more fitting. And maybe I'd also get rid of the sword and the toga,
those not really being very Texan, either. Maybe she could have her
other hand resting on the grip of a .357 Mag, sitting in a holster on
her hip. (Aside -- .357 Mag must be the official Texas caliber, if
there ever was one. It would not surprise me that ownership of such
were to be made a condition of residency, or at least voter
registration, at some point in the future. Be sure to pick one up if
you decide to drop by.) And she might be wearing something more
appropriate, like maybe a nice frilly bustier, with maybe some lace or
fringe or something. But I suppose at that point, you've got everybody
thinking "Hey, who's the hottie, and why is she blindfolded?", and
probably about how much fun this might turn out to be, and not so much
about justice anymore. So that probably wouldn't work out. Oh well. I
suppose it was a useful mental exercise.
I was reading an article describing a supposed 12 nations that make up America,
and it told me in so many roundabout words that I was an extremely
violent person. Or at least, the people group which I belong to was, or
some other such sociodemographical nonsense, or at least that my group
was perceived to be that way by his group, no doubt a part of
Puritanical Yankeedom, which apparently abhors violence right up until
the point that it has to do it, like when witches need burning, or the
time when King Charles needed his head cut off,
which I figure is just like everybody else. I suppose when you do
things all together as opposed to individually, it's different.
Somehow.
Anyway, I immediately took offence. But then I got to thinking...
...about the time that kid in my PE class shot that other kid in the face with a .410...
...and
the time that kid in my English class got stabbed to death in a knife
fight, right down the street from a good friend of mine's house...
...and
that friend of my dad's, who spent three days in jail for beating the
living daylights out of an off-duty cop with a length of lead pipe.
(The 'lenient sentence' was because he had been 'provoked,' and by
'provoked,' what I really mean is attacked, with self-same length of
pipe, and he shouldn't have gone to jail at all. Did I mention that
Texans love cops?)...
...and that friend of the above
man, who blew a guy to Kingdom Come with a 12-gauge shotgun, that had
been holding up his wife with a 9mm in their garage...
...and
that other guy my dad used to eat breakfast with most mornings before
work, who killed two guys who tried to rob him as he was opening up his
check-cashing business down the street from my dad's office, and still
had a cast on his leg at the time from the gunfight he had been in a few
weeks before...
...and that guy from Pasadena, where I live now, who, well, you can read the link...
...and that security guard at the plant where I work,
who was a recently returned Afghanistan war vet, who was strangled to
death by his civilian neighbor in a fight, after he had stabbed said
neighbor 12 times (seriously, do you really need another story than that
one? A vet in the prime of life just happens to have a neighbor who
can overpower and kill him bare-handed, after being stabbed multiple times and severely wounded!? He wasn't exactly the biggest guy in the world, but still...)...
...and I got to thinking, "If I really thought about it, I could probably go on like this, for at least 45 minutes."
And
then I remembered being in college, with those sort of casual
acquaintances you meet in class and such, and after you've known
eachother for a semester or so, you'd start relating interesting stories
from your past, and after they'd had their turn, I'd start talking
about some story like the above, and they would look at me like I'd just
descended from an alien spacecraft or sprouted a second head out of my
neck, right before their eyes, and the rest of the relationship would be
dominated by long, awkward silences, and things like "yeah, you know,
I've really got to go..." And that's when I realized that the author of
the article might have been more right than I had first thought.
(Though
to be fair, those other college students were also mostly from Texas,
it's just that they were the sort of 'yuppy' Texans from the
neighborhoods sprouting up in suburbs on the north sides of towns, who
are able to get into the good schools, and at this point tend to
dominate them. Which is to say, not very representative, and certainly
not normal. I'll have more to say about them later. Did you know that
Texas' two largest universities, the University of Texas in Austin and
Texas A&M in College Station have some of the highest rates of attendance by
National Merit finalists, batting way above their national standings?
It's because, no matter how smart they are, Texans generally just won't
leave, even if it might be good for them, no matter what. So, Harvard
and Stanford and such just don't get many of them. [And if you
bothered to read that link, I can assure you, Ed Funkhouser is
completely full of it. Whatever A&M does to recruit students,
it really doesn't matter. The 'Steers and Queers' Texas effect swamps whatever he is up to, I can assure you.])
I
identify my own 'nation' as being more 'Greater Appalachia,' just
looking at the descriptions, since I do not use 'sir' and 'ma’am' and
Mr. and Mrs. the way the 'Deep South' does (and I can verify that --
that is exactly how people from southern Louisiana talk. But I don't.)
-- though I don't generally 'identify' with actually being Appalachian,
if you see what I mean. I just recognize my habits when I see 'em. But
as I got to thinking about it more, I'm quite sure that there is quite a
lot of upside to Texas being a lively mixture of the two most violent
cultures America has to offer. For one, it appears to solve a
longstanding mystery which I had up to now been unable to crack --
gangsterism.
Practically speaking, Texas has none to
speak of, which has long struck me as odd, because I do not get the
impression that Texans are any less prone to beating the bejeezus out of
people and the like than anyone else around. At least, there isn't the
kind of gangsterism like you see depicted of in places like New York or
Las Vegas, or what have you, where they are actually organized
black-market criminal enterprises. In Texas, 'gangs' are pissant little
things, composed mostly of poorly 'parented' (read -- 'disciplined')
young men, who are too weak and proud to handle the butt-kickings the
rest of us had to endure in school on our own. By 'mostly,' I mean
approximately 98-99%, with the remainder being soul-less,
conscienceless, totally animal killers, who would probably be that way,
gang or no-gang or however they were parented. They form 'gangs,'
rather than swallow their pride and stand on their own two feet like
men, or not, as the case may be, but to at least run away or take it on
your own, the way everybody else learns to. And they're really not hard
to deal with in real life, when you realize that that's what they are,
overgrown infants, just be friendly and don't expect too much. The
non-killers, anyway. The killers are best just avoided. You can know
'em just looking at them.
Fortunately, the killers
usually wind up dead or in jail pretty young, rarely living to see 30,
and the rest tend to disperse after they get out of school and become
normal, if somewhat disgruntled and sociopathic peasants that go in to
making up the underclass. They are associated with drugs, and crime,
but only inasmuch as they might happen to be morally degenerate
lowlifes. They are generally users, rather than dealers, though, and
their crime tends to be opportunistic and disorganized. Dealers in
Texas, at least the ones that I have known, are loners, and usually fall
into one of two categories -- losers who barely scrape by, and
generally friendly people who are fairly professional. Neither of them
tends to be particularly violent, at least not much more than anybody
else. There generally aren't 'territories' as depicted in New York and
such, as far as I know. Mostly it is 'free-lance,' come and go as you
please. The kiddy-gangs have 'territories,' but again that is more a
matter of their delicate prides than anything else, not 'business'
related, and doesn't much concern adults who aren't involved in such
activities.
The only place 'gangsterism' can sort of
take root, to the degree that it even does, is in the Mexican
neighborhoods. And I think this is telling. The reason that
territories don't take hold in Texas, as they seem to in other places, I
think, is because they can't. To have 'territories,' they must be able
to embed themselves in the community, which is to say, the community
must deal with them as members rather than outsiders, and 'gang
business' as part of routine, in order for that kind of thing to work.
Otherwise, it is too difficult; you can't operate 'below the table' when
there isn't any table. And in Texas, you just don't act that way -- if
you try, you usually fry, as I have said. There is no better way to
attract the wrath of a thousand avenging angels descending down upon
your sorry head, than to break a law, or cross the wrong person, in
Texas. Basically, the reason it seems to me that the Mexican community
in Texas has trouble with this stuff, (and the Mexicans in Mexico, for
that matter) it that they tend to be 'too nice,' by which I mean,
'understanding and sympathetic.' Unsurprisingly, non-Mexicans tend to
have a reputation among the Mexicans as being 'cold.'
One
result of this 'niceness,' is that the gangsters have breathing room
(of course, there are many others, which don't always turn out so
bad...). I have a friend who keeps a house just across the border, who
tells me stories of people on this side going back to their homes in
Mexico to find them occupied by members of the cartels and such, who
inform them that they'll be needing to rent the house out, because of
it's location, for business, or what have you. And, generally, the
owners, not wanting to get shot or whatnot, find themselves going along,
you know, to get along, and take the money and find someplace else to
stay.
I simply cannot imagine this kind of thing
happening in Texas. There are few more effective ways I can think of to
meet your Maker in extremely short order than to be caught in a house
you're not supposed to be in by its owner. There is no engaging with,
or treating with, or talking to, in any possible shape or form, unless
such engaging and treating is considered to be strictly limited to
shooting, and talking to consists of succinct notifications of imminent
bodily harm. This is something that is just not done. Okay, well, it
is, but one makes quite certain one is not caught doing it, and one
quite often winds up either killing or dying if he is not absolutely
careful on this point. He certainly is not given the option of paying
rent.
This kind of thinking goes for pretty much any
such behavior. You can't cut deals with people hellbent on not 'getting
to know you,' who give not a brass farthing where you spend eternity or
when you begin spending it, that being between you and God, and nobody
else. Texans, again, being generally non-cerebral, seem to sort of
instinctively understand that their dealings with strangers are strictly
limited to temporal concerns, such as the most expedient route for
removing your sorry hide to a place it might actually have some sense to
being when at present it isn't. If shooting may be productively
incorporated, or even wedged in on some useful pretence, well so much
the better. Exceptions and considerations and external concerns don't
really figure in.
You just can't gangsterize Texas, I
don't think. At least not respectably. The mentality is all wrong.
And have you ever heard of a riot in Texas? I haven't, and we have
several large cities. There's been ample opportunity. I'm not saying
it never happened, I just don't know of one. Or really much of any of
significance in the South. Again, the mentality doesn't seem to be
there. One just doesn't flout the rules lightly.
(Might
also have to do with 'individualism,' riots tending to be collective
affairs associated with group identities. I'm really not sure. But
again, the mentality is all wrong. I just can't imagine Texans doing
that. Doesn't make sense. But I shouldn't give the impression that the
atmosphere in Texas is extremely violent. It isn't. It's as friendly
as anywhere else, as far as I can tell, it's just that different
things tend to happen here than elsewhere.)
So what
makes Texas, well, Texas? What went into bringing about this strange
state of affairs, and has perpetuated it all these years? Probably a
lot, but if I had to guess the lynchpin of it all is, again, the public
schools. Education in a Texas public school environment, at least up
until recently (and again, I'll be returning to this point shortly)
consists primarily of a sort of Holy Trinity of subject material --
fighting, football, and Alamo Worship, which generally goes by the more
formalized name of Texas History. Yes, there are other actual subjects
taught, at least in terms of going through the motions, you know, so
parents are okay with it, but on the whole, anything else the kids
happen to pick up is usually incidental.
In general, it
is not required to excel at any of these subjects (or really, probably
any subject), but participation is practically mandatory. So, it seems
to be the experience that counts. Using this regimen, our public
schools (again, until recently) seem to have a remarkable way of chewing
through whatever children happen to show up on school-day and
faithfully and reliably churning out Texans regardless of circumstance.
Whatever your background, and however you raise 'em at home, if you
send 'em to public school, they will come out Texans, with all
that entails, whether that suits you or not. That, I can assure you.
We change 'em all over in one generation, tops.
I've
seen on the Internet some theories that 'civilization' comes about
through a sort of process of natural selection. After many, many years
of imposed 'law and order,' whatever 'uncivilized genes' are present
will slowly be weeded out as they poke their heads up and run up against
the long-arm-of-the-law lawnmower, so to speak, until one day whatever
is left over is compatible with a civilized way of living. Well, I
don't really know one way or another whether I really believe this, but I
can say for certain, if it turns out to be true, that Texas was
probably the most civilizing force that was ever known in the history of
the world.
I mean, just think about it. I really
can't imagine a more civilizing regimen of selection, than pretty well
turning kids loose in a survival of the fittest regimen, with barely any
sort of civilizing instruction to sort of suppress the expression of
uncivilized traits (unless they get it at home, of course), and then
blasting to smithereens and jailing anybody who doesn't happen to make
the cut once they're old enough for open-season to commence. Texas must
surely be on the fastest track to civilization there ever was! And who
knows, maybe one day we'll make it! Sure would be a shame in some
ways, though...
(I hope nobody is actually taking this
stuff too seriously at this point. If you're from Texas, and you're
kind of grinning with pride, or if you're not from Texas, and you're
thinking "and here I had thought I was living in a first-world country
for all these years" and laughing a little because it's not really true
but kind of funny, then that's about what I was going for. If you're
horrified, well, lighten up...)
As I was saying, in
some ways, sadly, we seem to be already getting there. Civilized, I
mean. There's already getting to be a pretty large slice of Texas that
doesn't have these kinds of experiences anymore, like those college
students I had mentioned, from the 'good' suburbs. And as I had said,
the schools, they are a-changing, and I expect their effect to weaken
and weaken.
There has been an enormous influx of
out-of-state people, not to mention out of country people, and they have
tended to want other things of their schools, and different ways of
living. They have formed cultural exclaves, especially in North Dallas
and North and West Houston, where things are, more or less, like
everywhere else in North America. They send their kids to the best
schools, and tend not to shoot at criminals. Or to shoot at much of
anything, because they don't care too much for that kind of stuff, or
have bonfires, or many of the other essential things that go into being
Texan.
Between the legalistic, bureaucratic rot that
infects all public institutions, and the cultural dilution pouring in in
response to the hot Texas economy, I expect that Texas will not last
much more than two generations. At least, not in a form that someone
like Bill Whittle would like to make a video about. Too many people
won't want it to be that way anymore, and visiting Texas will maybe be
about like visiting Iowa or Kansas.
Oh well.
2 comments:
I spent just enough time at UT-Austin to become at least some percentage Texan. (It helped that my mother's folks -- and there were a lot of them -- were right there to instruct me in the Ways of the Lone Star.) I regret none of it, of course.
Yes, actually Okies and Arkies and Coon-asses really aren't all that much different, anyway. Neither is most of the South. And, for that matter, probably a percentage of the whole rest of the country, except that in most of those places they are more of a minority.
But putting things that way wouldn't have made for a very good post :)
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