On this, the 21st day of June in the Year of Our Lord 2026, the first day of summer here in the Northern Hemisphere, I read something that chilled my heart:
Why don’t Christians welcome new church attendees?
I’m a baby Christian. Other Christians on here always tell me if I went to church, it would help me. But the one time I walked a very long walk to the only church close by, I had a very unpleasant experience.
They were like a clique, looking at me as if I was a weirdo when I said hello. No one approached me or welcomed me. And when I tried to be friendly to them, I was ostracised.
The sermon was great and the music was okay. But the people were not what I was told they would be at all. It broke my heart.
Is this how Christians usually act towards new people in church?
Everyone told me to call churches. The vast majority of churches don’t take calls and don’t return messages. Those that have called back asked why I think anyone would want to pick up a complete stranger to bring them to church. I guess that’s a valid point. We live in a dangerous world with a lot of scammers.
I have been attending my best friend’s online church (in St Louis) since Christmas Eve. I always said hello and spoke in the chat but was ignored. Those in the chat all seem to know each other so it’s not at all welcoming. I love the music and the pastor so I’ve continued to attend.
2 weeks ago, a woman in chat asked if I usually went in person and if she’d met me. I told her no and who my friend was. My friend has taught kids on Sundays for decades and her husband is involved in putting the sermons online. So my friend is *very* well known. Now, that woman in chat said hello again to me last Sunday.
But it took 6 months. Wouldn’t it be better to make all new people feel welcome? Maybe someone else is like me, brand new.
I don’t find most Christians to be anything like Christ at all, to be honest. I’m sure He would have welcomed me with open arms. Shouldn’t we aspire to be more like Him? What am I missing?
I read in the Bible that Jesus commanded “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.” He also said: “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.”
I guess He didn’t specify that Christians should welcome new people to a church but I thought it’s kind of implied in His words. Am I wrong?
Please help me with this. I’m a bit lost.
That broke my heart as well. It shouldn’t happen to anyone. That it happened to a new follower of Christ is especially tragic. Yet it’s become the rule in churches nationwide.
A long time ago, I wrote:
The physical light may stream from a bank of incandescent bulbs. The physical warmth may flow from a furnace. But these are the least part of the thing. Any Christian will tell you.
Try it out. You don't have to wait for an invitation; you can engrave this one on card stock and sign my name to it, if you like. Visit the church down the block, some Sunday soon. Don't be shy. Shake a few hands; make the acquaintance of the pastor. Everyone there is as flawed as you, but they'll accept you anyway, if you'll grant them the favor of reciprocation. If you're the least bit open to it, I guarantee that you'll feel it as I do.
Whether made of wood, stone, or grass and mud, a Christian church filled with its congregants is a warm, well lighted place.
Remembering those words adds to the pain from reading Samsara’s tweet above.
Christian brotherhood – true, unfeigned acceptance of the newcomer – is required of us. Christ said it Himself:
And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.[Matthew 28:18-20]
Yet “baby Christians” such as Samsara are frequently met with indifference or suspicion. That’s especially the case when the newcomer looks a bit “alternative:”
Why? Why not greet the newcomer as a brother, a sheep welcome in the fold, even if he’s covered with tattoos or wearing his hair in some bizarre style? A lot of long-time parishioners treat anyone unfamiliar as someone to be wary of. It makes no sense!
While there are occasional exceptions, a visitor to a Christian church is there to learn, to worship, or both. Isn’t that cause for celebration, rejoicing? Why show the cold shoulder to such a person?
I don’t know Samsara. I plan to engage her, if she’s willing to talk to me. I want to know more about the church she visited that treated her that way. I want to see what I can do to help. A congregation that frosty plainly needs some help.
I could go on, but I’ve made a resolution to cease flogging dead horses. Yeah, yeah, we’ll see how long that lasts, but all the same.
May God bless and keep you all…including the guy in the back row who’s dressed like an escapee from an insane asylum, and the woman with the spiky hairdo and the forest of tattoos, and the man, woman, or child who enters the nave of the church alone, looking lost and desperate for a hand of welcome. C’mon, fellow believers! It’s the least you could do.
5 comments:
Samsara's experience makes me sad, that is not at all what church should be like, unfortunately many are I have been to a few. The church my wife and I attend is a Bible believing and following church, and I can promise Samsara would be welcomed. The funny thing is we are also in Missouri although about 4 hours south of St. louis in a town of about 450 people in as conservative an area as you can imagine. I invite Samsara to visit Arroll Community Church in Summersville MO for a different church experience
Looks like Bill and I are in the same area. Our small church near Raymondville, MO welcomes all comers. All are greeted at the entrance and welcomed into the church. I can understand the misgivings of some churches to strangers. Church shootings have increased 700% in the last decade. If we have concerns about you a member of our safety team may be instructed to sit behind you during the service but you will never know you are being observed. It's sad that churches are compelled to such measures but the safety of the flock demands prudent measures. May the Lord bless all of you this Father's Day.
I am a introvert. One of the things I dislike about church is people trying to be friendly and asking questions.
Too often churches are a reflection of the secular lifestyles demanded by the cold segments that society can create. Instead of radiating the peace offered by Christ, the suspicion, and coldness, chases away those seeking what the world can't provide.
What a sad situation. I followed your link and read some of her posts. I found her June 10 comment about Karmelo Anthony to be especially sober and kind; Christian for sure.
I have been to many churches of various denominations or non denominations at all, and have never seen one without a greeter at the door and welcomers in the foyer. Samsara seems like a nice lady. She's certainly not unattractive, especially for her age - not that either should matter in this context. My first thought is that she should find a different church. And sometimes unfortunately a newcomer has to be the one to take the 1st step forward; even Christians are cautious. Especially these days. I hope you are able to connect with her and offer her some meaningful help.
It's a delight to see several comments on this particular post already. I can relate to anonymous above; It took me many years to overcome the discomfort of meeting strangers. I started by developing a script so I had ready answers for the most obvious and common questions.
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