We’ve all heard about the “male loneliness epidemic.” There’s a lot of substance to it. American men of all ages are having more difficulty forming social connections, especially ones that offer romantic possibilities, than in any previous era. The institutions that supported such connections have weakened greatly. Some have disappeared altogether.
But a part of that has nothing to do with institutions. Consider the following:
Let's say you are a 25 year old man who
— ︎ ︎venom (@venom1s) January 30, 2026
> Looks average
> Is 5'6–5'8 tall
> Has a private job
> Earns 30–50K
> Lives on rent
> Has a simple bike, no car
> Is a virgin, kind, and religious
> Has a good personality
> Respects women
On dating apps, you won't find even one girl,…
Now, that list is somewhat restrictive. You won’t find many 25-year-old male virgins in these United States in the Year of Our Lord 2026, “average looks” or not. You also won’t find many who don’t have cars, outside the larger cities. But it does describe a number of young men. Relax the aforementioned two restrictions, and the number swells greatly.
Now, this aspect of “venom’s” claim:
On dating apps, you won't find even one girl, unless she's ugly/fat.
…might not be perfectly correct. But where our proposed young man would find a potential wife, and what sort of woman she might prove to be, deserves consideration.
It’s been said, and truly, that while men are attracted by looks, women are attracted by status. Yes, women have appearance standards, particularly as regards men’s height. But whether a young single woman regards a young man as a “catch” depends more on his “prospects” than his looks. If she sees “make it big” prospects in him, he could look to her like a winner even if he’s short and visually unimpressive. So the major impediments our proposed young man faces are occupational and financial.
Time was, the received wisdom was that a man should “be more than you appear.” In today’s “get it now and damn the future” social clime, the reverse just might be true.
I don’t advocate striving to “appear more than you are.” The truth will emerge over time. Occupational possibilities and bank balances are hard to fake for long. Yet a number of young men will try it anyway: some out of cynicism, others out of desperation.
Young women’s expectations and demands are the largest part of the problem. Their starry-eyed dreams of handsome, wealthy princes come-a-courting take years to dispel. The mass one-way media have conditioned them to believe that he’s out there, girl; just wait. The scales fall from their eyes eventually: usually, some time after they reach thirty years of age.
Are you beginning to get a sense for where this is going, young man?
The typical single woman in her mid-thirties feels a subliminal panic. She can feel herself “aging out” in ways that men don’t suffer. Her looks are going. She has increasing difficulty maintaining her figure. She knows that her fertility is fading as well – and even if she already has children, that tells against her in the romance market. Maybe especially if she already has children.
She might actually be ready for true commitment.
You, the twenty-five-year-old male singleton, might not look upon her as a plausible romantic candidate. That’s shortsighted. She’s primed and ready for you, despite your youth. She might actually be willing to care for you in a half-romantic, half-maternal way. Indeed, she just might be the support you need to “make it!”
This will strike you as bizarre. It’s an inversion of the longstanding pattern of men marrying younger women. That pattern definitely made more sense. He, the older, was already somewhat “established.” She, the younger, needed protection and support, and – in the usual case – was ready for children. Their desires and positions in life were in alignment.
But things have changed, quite definitely. Young men can’t get a fair shake from young women. Older women, with rare exceptions, can’t win the affections of older, well-established men. (Cf. “trophy wife.”) But both younger men and older women are hungry for love, for sex, for affection, for an enduring commitment.
The Army recruiting slogan was “Be All You Can Be.” I have an addendum: “Yeah – And Make Sure It Shows.”
Things being as they are, you, young male reader, might not manage to catch the interest of the young woman you want. But her single older sister has eyes. Should they come to rest approvingly on you, will you spurn her just because she’s older? Or will you see and value her mature potential, just as she sees and values your youthful vigor?
Give it some thought.
A matchmaker’s predatory gleam shone from Adrienne’s eyes throughout the dessert course. It was still there as they said their good-nights at the front door. It kept Sumner on edge, but remarkably, Redmond didn’t appear to notice it.
Sumner closed the door behind him and released an explosive sigh.
Adrienne frowned. “Was it that hard?”
“Uh, no.” How do I tell my wife that she was eyeing our guest like a lioness assessing an unsuspecting wildebeest? “It’s just that...well, from everything I’ve heard at the office, Louis is pretty special. I didn’t expect him to be such an, ah, easy guest.”
“Charming,” she said. The feral gleam had not left her eyes. “Utterly charming. I can’t wait to—”
“Sweetie,” he said, desperate to derail his wife’s obvious train of thought, “has it occurred to you to wonder why he isn’t married?”
She shrugged. “These days men his age mostly aren’t.”
He grimaced. “True. All the same, would you give me a little time to get to know him better before you script his future unto the seventh generation?”
“Steve!”
“Sweetie,” he said, “you’ve had that look ever since he arrived. You had me thinking you were going to call Rosalie and invite her over for a piece of cheesecake. ‘Fess up, now.”
She giggled. “The thought did cross my mind.”
“Sweetie, he’s twenty-four. Twenty-four. Keep that firmly in mind.” Sumner wrapped his arms around her waist. She reciprocated and laid her head on his shoulder. “Rosalie is thirty-six and Allison is forty.”
Another giggle. “So what, Mr. General Counsel? Are you trying to tell me that New York has outlawed cradle robbing?”
“Adrienne...” Sumner pushed his wife to arms’ length, glared at her from under lowered brows, and deployed his best cross examiner’s courtroom tone.
Her grin was the naughtiest thing he’d ever seen. “All right, so there’d be a little age gap—”
“Little? That’s like calling the Grand Canyon a large hole!”
“Hey! Men marry women that much younger all the time! Isn’t it about time we ladies got a little payback?”[From Statesman]
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