And there’s a good reason why...
A young couple had just gotten engaged when a terrible traffic accident ended both their lives. St. Peter, having reviewed their lives and found them acceptable, immediately opened the Pearly Gates and admitted them to heaven. But rather than enter the Heavenly City at once, they paused before St. Peter and asked him, “We’ve only just become engaged, but we’ve lost our chance for a wedding on Earth. May we be married here in heaven?”
St. Peter, somewhat nonplussed by the request, said, “I’ll have to get back to you about that. Go in and get comfortable, and I’ll look you up a bit later.”
Well, “a bit later” proved to be a whole year. But St. Peter, true to his word, came to the young folks and told them that yes, all the requirements were in place and they could be married. And accordingly, he brought them to a hastily constructed wedding chapel, dragged a priest before them, and had them make their marital vows.
But all was not well. The two young people discovered after only a month that marriage disagreed with them: fights, long silences, and an overall loss of the excitement of courtship left them both unhappy. So only a month after their nuptials they sought St. Peter once more and asked if he could arrange for them to divorce.
St. Peter’s face immediately clouded over. He fixed the two with a stern glare and said in his most ominous, take-the-down-escalator voice, “It took me a whole year to find you a priest. Have you any idea how long it’ll take me to find you two lawyers?”
And that’s why there is no marriage in heaven.