Tuesday, December 9, 2014


FWP: (leaps from his seat at the kitchen table and sneezes volcanically)
CSO: Why do you always do that?

FWP: Do what?
CSO: Get up and run before you sneeze.

FWP: It’s the responsible thing.
CSO: Huh?

FWP: C’mon, sweetie! You have a nose. Didn’t you learn the Rules of Responsible Nose Handling?
CSO: Uh...

FWP: There are four: First, assume all noses are always loaded. Second, keep your finger off your nose until it’s time to fire. Third, never point your nose at anything you don’t want dead. Fourth, know your target and focus on it. Everyone is supposed to know them before being issued his first nose!
CSO: (unprintable)


Weetabix said...

You're my kind of smartass!

Backwoods Engineer said...

Love it. Wish I'd thought of applying the Four Rules of Gun Safety to one's nose while my kids were growing up. I'd have taught them the Nose Rules, just like I taught them the Gun Rules.

Guy S said...

"Ask not for whom the nose blows...it blows for thee1"

Joseph said...

When noses are outlawed, only outlaws will have noses!