Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Do You Want More Trump? Because...

     “Another thing that bothers me. Why don’t we ever challenge the spherical earth theory?”
     “Look,” Joe said, “If all the scientists and eggheads and commies and liberals are pushing it in our schools all the time, there must be something fishy about it. Did you ever stop to think that there’s no way—just no way at all—to reconcile a spherical earth with the story of the Flood, or Joshua’s miracle, or Jesus standing on the pinnacle of the temple and seeing all the kingdoms of the earth? And I ask you, man to man, in all your travels have you ever seen the curvature anywhere? Everyplace I’ve been is flat. Are we going to trust the Bible and the evidence of our own senses, or are we going to listen to a bunch of agnostics and atheists in laboratory smocks?”
     “But the earth’s shadow on the moon during an eclipse...”
     Joe took a dime out of his pocket and held it up. “This casts a circular shadow, but it’s flat, not spherical.”
     Cotex stared into space for a long moment, while Joe waited with suppressed excitement. “You know something?” Cotex said finally, “all the Bible miracles and our own travels and the shadow on the moon would make sense if the earth was shaped like a carrot and all the continents were on the flat end—”
     Praise be to Simon’s god, Bugs Bunny, Joe thought elatedly. It’s happening—he’s not only gullible—he’s creative.

     [Shea and Wilson, Illuminatus!]

     Sensible people are beginning to notice...no, strike that: sensible people started noticing a long time ago. What’s relatively fresh is that they’re starting to laugh openly.

     “Notice what,” I hear you cry. Why, what else? The rampant lunacy that passes under the name “progressivism,” of course! Let’s start with Dystopic’s most recent emission:

     Folks, we’ve gone beyond mere doublethink into the Twilight Zone of Social Justice insanity. There is nothing too stupid, too bereft of meaning, to become an SJW headline. It’s getting to the point that a random chat bot could compose headlines that made more objective sense. Turing’s test must now be applied in reverse: when does a human being become so stupid as to approximate an AOL chat bot?

     Please read it all. I guarantee that you’ll laugh or cry. Indeed, you might do both.

     But this is good news: a positive development. Sensible Americans should encourage it in every practical way. Kurt Schlichter elaborates:

     Pity the Democrats, to the extent you can without bursting into hysterical laughter at their agony. America has thoroughly rejected them in every branch of the federal government plus out in the states, and on top of that they were utterly humiliated by the guy they all claimed was a complete moron. Which begs the question – what does that make the sanctimonious harpy he crushed in the Electoral College?

     They still haven’t realized what’s going on. Their ego-driven drive to dominate normal people and shape us into New Socialist Nongendered Beings has blinded them to the bitter reality.

     Read all of that one, too. For anyone on the Right it’s like a Milky Way or Three Musketeers binge, but made entirely out of guaranteed non-fattening pixels.

     It’s nourishment for the soul, I tell you.

     Laughter is the best medicine – old adage

     The devil...the prowde spirit...cannot endure to be mocked. – Thomas More

     “This Terran wrestling is very peculiar.”
     “In what way?”
     Heisham sought around for an easily explainable example, said, “If I were to push you it would be natural for you to oppose my push and to push back. But if you push a Terran he grabs your wrists and pulls the same way. He helps you. It is extremely difficult to fight a willing helper. It means that everything you try to do is immediately taken further than you intended.”
     “The answer is easy,” scoffed Zalumar. “You give up pushing. You pull him instead.”
     “If you change from pushing to pulling, he promptly switches from pulling to pushing,” Heisham answered. “He’s still with you, still helping. There’s no effective way of controlling it except adopting the same tactics.” – Eric Frank Russell, “Basic Right”

     While there’s no denying that things can look very bleak, it’s equally true that the Left’s bizarre interpretation of “tolerance” can be used against it. If there’s a trick to it, it’s knowing when to frown and when to smile.

     Just now, we have people claiming a right to tolerance – often rhetorically transformed into a right to approval and assistance – for all sorts of lunacies. Consider the assertion, made ever more frequently, that women have a right not to be looked at by men: that for a man to judge (especially to take pleasure from) a woman’s appearance is a form of sexism. Couple that to the complementary claim that flattering clothes, cosmetics, and so forth, rather than being choices some women make and others don’t, are really “tools for the objectification of the female body.” Couple them to feminists’ insistence that even though women are men’s “equals,” they’re endangered by men’s proximity—even by our very existence. Imagine how that combination could be used against the Left.

     Alternately, consider the hysterics of “climate change.” All the skeptics have done so far is to disagree and debate. Occasionally, a commentator will ask why Al Gore, if he’s serious about the dread menace of CO2, has chosen to live in an enormous mansion, or why Leonard DiCaprio travels the world in a private jet giving inane speeches his audiences could write for him. Not far enough, Gentle Reader! Alinskify them! Hold them to their own standards – and do so publicly and laughingly!

     (One could go further. As the ultimate source of all “global warming” is the Sun, demand that NASA immediately begin work on an expedition to the Sun...to turn it down! Or perhaps to turn it off at night, when the plants, worn out from a long hard day of photosynthesis, are trying to get some rest.)

     They cannot fight their own allies...so pretend to be their allies, but more so. Up the crazy! Insist that everyone who’s serious about “sexism,” or “trans-racialism,” or “climate change,” or whatever mad notion has recently taken hold on the Left must uphold it and live it to the limit. If there’s a difficulty here, it would be doing so without collapsing into hysterical laughter at the wrong moment.

     Great God in heaven, I’m laughing my slats off just thinking about this. Because this is well and truly “how we get more Trump” — i.e., how decent Americans can both assert their own preferences in confidence and comfort, and have a good laugh as a bonus.

     Is there anyone out there who doesn’t enjoy a good laugh?

1 comment:

Amy Bowersox said...

A "right not to be looked at by men"?!? I'll give you one trans woman's perspective on that.

I wear the clothes, makeup, and accessories I do because it pleases me to do so. If men derive some sort of pleasure from looking at me, I really don't care. It doesn't affect me unless they take some sort of action on it. Maybe I'm bringing a bit of joy to someone's life. Maybe I'm opening their eyes a bit. Maybe (in the case of people that read me and think I'm funny-looking) I bring a momentary bit of amusement to their lives. Good for them. I will continue to do as I please, no matter what they think.

And it amuses me to think that I could wind up being "objectified." I would count that as a win. ;)