Sunday, June 30, 2019

A Case Of Auto-Eroticism

     A dear friend, who’s been having car troubles for months now, has at long last and despite considerable obstacles managed to acquire a “new” ride. (It’s actually rather used, but it’s new to him, so what the hell.) He chose it himself, without let or hindrance from spouse, sibling, or State, and professes to be overjoyed with it. But what, specifically, does he praise it for above all else?

     Its color. He adores the color. It’s yellow, which is apparently his favorite color.

     Now, I’m hardly the judge of matters pertaining to color. You see, I don’t see most of them. And yellow, when it’s been pointed out to me, has never struck me as specifically to be celebrated. I mean, what about the other primary colors? What about indigo, a very attractive color, or so I’m told, that hasn’t yet been over-subscribed? Why is yellow to be exalted above these others?

     But de gustibus non est disputandum, and all that. So I’ve christened his car for him: the Screaming Yellow Zonker. If you don’t get the reference, well, be grateful:

     The confection itself wasn't bad, mind you; it’s just that the main attraction was the box. And the color, of course. But history does not record how many miles they got to the gallon.

4 comments:

mobius said...

Yeah, i never ate those.
Shudder.

Ed Bonderenka said...

I remember liking them.
That might be a planned response to their chemistry.
Or the fact that I was often high when I ate them.

pc-not said...

Totally off subject here, Fran, but just finished watching the "London Series". Interesting games and I'm sure you are happy with the outcome. Me, being a Sox fan, not so much!

Francis W. Porretto said...

PC: Well, I'm pleased that New York won the two games, but I've got to tell you: I have never seen such bad pitching or fielding -- from either team! I hope the Europeans understand that that was not typical, high-quality Yankees / Red Sox baseball!