Saturday, February 2, 2019

The Weather Made Me Do It

[Time to repost this, I think. This short fiction first appeared at Eternity Road on February 2, 2011 -- FWP]

Phil awoke gradually as was his habit, stretched languidly, and peered about him for signs of the day. The light was faint but definite.

Time to get up, boy. You have your duties.

He tottered out of bed, donned slippers and robe, and went as usual to the front door for the paper and the morning post. But as he popped his head out into the day, he found himself nose-to-muzzle with a 12-gauge shotgun. He froze.

Do I have an enemy I didn't know about? I've been doing this for years without a quibble. I thought it was popular. There've been songs about it!

"What...what do you want?" he stammered.

A quiet but steel-hard voice issued over the unwavering barrel. "Just go back into your hole. No, don't look around first. Just pull your head back into your burrow and we'll say nothing more about it."

Phil gulped, nodded minutely, and retreated into the warmth and safety of his hole. From outside, he heard a sigh of relief.

"Think it will work?" came one soft voice.

"Who knows? But we had to try something."

"At last, we agree."

Two pairs of footsteps faded off into the dawning Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania day as Phil returned to his bed.


Weetabix said...

Here's hoping it worked.

Cederq said...

Mr. Porretto,
Is it possible to read "Eternity Road" in it's entirety? I read it when it first came out in Feb. 2011 and would like to reread it if it is possible. I enjoy almost all you write, what I don't like is thought provoking, and that is enough. Keep the faith brother.

Kevin Cederquist

Francis W. Porretto said...

I don't know which of my works you're referring to, Kevin. Eternity Road is the name of my old Website, not one of my novels or stories. Could you give me a little more information, and perhaps I'll be able to work this out?

Amy Bowersox said...

Fran, I'm guessing that what Kevin wants to know is if there's an online archive of all of your previous blog writings at Eternity Road, at least. Maybe he'd also be looking for your old pieces from the Palace of Reason too?

It might also be a good legacy to leave behind on this Earth after the Lord calls you home. (I've got an online archive up of the late Steven den Beste's USS Clueless, but it's sadly incomplete, because of the limitations of the tool he used to crawl the site and send me the archive.)

Francis W. Porretto said...

Amy: The comment you've referenced was left in 2014. I did satisfy the request back then, so have no fear.