Sunday, January 19, 2020

How Having a Family Changed Me

Consideration of Others and Love for Your Fellow Man

Before having kids and a husband, I lived primarily for myself. I had little need to think of the needs of others, and almost all of my spare time and money was dedicated to things that I wanted.

Then my first child was born.

Amazingly, few kids care all that much about YOUR need to eat, sleep, or take of basic hygiene. My daughter, while a delightful individual, was Me to the 10 power. All about herself. No consideration of others, except as it affected her.

I had to learn a whole new way of being. I had to learn to have patience, not just with her, but also my long-suffering husband, who was also sleep-deprived and cranky.

I had to learn to deal with messes that I had not created, anticipate needs and wants, and prepare for each outing like Eisenhower prepared for D-Day. Shockingly, when money is limited, you can dress in clothes from the Goodwill, eat beans and rice, and take walks for entertainment.

Years later, I saw my own children also putting themselves lower on the Needs List, with their own children and families. They have learned to budget, plan, and act as though they were not the only person on the planet.

I wish many of the Left had the character of my kids.

Protection of Minor Children and Care of the Helpless

This pushback from Missouri librarians on the right of parents to control the reading of their minor children is ridiculous. What's wrong with kids having to get parental permission to access sketchy books? They did when I was young, and the materials that was available in public libraries was WAY less explicit.

If kids want to access sexually-related (or drug-related) materials, what's wrong with using phones? They can always borrow a friend's phone if their own has a parental lock on it.

Make librarians responsible for their own decisions to push explicit on kids - financially responsible. Frankly, I can't see a reason for that access, unless the librarian is trying to 'groom' a minor.

Care of the helpless is a value that having a family teaches you, whether it's the minor children, the aged, or those with disabilities. The idea of Death Panels is abhorrent to parents; we value people at every stage of life.

Note that Helpless is specific; it does not mean those who could very well earn their own living should live off the work of others. So, no, Trump's insistence that EBT be limited to those who are not able-bodied or have care of someone who cannot work is not uncaring. It is a recognition that those that can stand on their own, should do so.

Money, Money, Money

I was a saver when I was young. Once, I lived for 6 months while not working, strictly on my savings, without collecting unemployment. That was possible because I lived without credit cards. My basic expenses were less than 1/2 my net income.

Still, I learned to live more frugally after acquiring a family. Stretching our incomes (and, at time, just one of those incomes) to cover all our needs was a challenge. Even after I returned to work, I spent considerably less than I earned. The kids I taught used to tease me, saying my car was old and my clothes not the latest fashion.

I wasn't offended, as I realized that many of their families collected money they had not earned, and spent to the limit, and beyond. They didn't understand about saving for retirement, emergency needs, or future wants. Their families spent now, not later.

They were Grasshoppers in a world that needed more Ants.

One major reason that poverty is multi-generational is the fact that money management is absorbed by seeing how your birth family handles money. Spendthrifts breed recklessly careless spenders.

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