Domesticana

     Mornings are complex affairs here at the Fortress. The complexity may be more perceived than real, owing to our habit of rising before dawn – usually at about 4:00 AM – but all the same, there are procedures to our mornings worthy of a Performance Specification the ISO crowd would approve.

     For instance, after we’ve fed our two dogs Sophie and Precious, we must prepare Sophie’s drugs. She suffers from a thyroid insufficiency and a stiffening of the joints common to many older dogs. So one of us usually sees to the feeding while the other prepares Sophie’s levothyroxine and rimadyl.

     However, Precious dislikes to see Sophie get anything unless there’s something in it for her as well. And of course, if Precious gets a treat, Sophie must get one too. So alongside Sophie’s drugs will be two dog cookies: typically Wellness bars in cheese or chicken flavor. This morning the procedure included the following exchange:

FWP: The drugs and cookies are ready.
CSO: Thank you.
FWP: That should be the title of something, don’t you think?
CSO: What?
FWP: “Drugs and Cookies.”
CSO: Oh, like Guns & Roses?
FWP: Well, they were big for a while.

     And now I sit here pondering what sort of story would fit the title “Drugs And Cookies.” Perhaps it will be a “Bruno Adventure,” like the three included in this collection. Anyway, if you’ve been wondering how we’ve managed to evade the men in the white coats with the big butterfly nets for so long, you’re not alone.