Sunday, March 15, 2015

I Need Reviews!

I’ve asked.
I’ve pleaded.
I’ve wept in despair.

Yet my novels have so few reviews at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Smashwords that I might as well be selling “natural male enhancements.”

Okay, here’s the deal: I will give a free ebook to the next 100 persons who promise on the souls of their parents, spouses, and children (already extant, in the oven, or merely contemplated in one’s boozy dreams) to:

  1. Read it;
  2. Review it honestly (Doesn’t have to be extensive, just what you really thought of the book);
  3. Post your review at Amazon at minimum. (Additional placements are encouraged, but I know not to ask too much).

You have your choice of any of the nine novels listed in the right sidebar. Send your choice to "fran" dot "porretto" at "yahoo" dot "com" or enter it as a comment here.

Now we shall see.


GamegetterII said...

Since all the books I read/have read on a Kindle were purchased through a friend's account-I can't write a review on Smashwords or Amazon without first buying the books-Just wrote a review of Polymath at Barnes and Noble.

So...what book would you prefer/recommend that I purchase and review on Amazon?

Ron Olson said...

Hey Fran I reviewed polymath and don't know how to review on dashboards or I would. Loved prices.

Unknown said...

I reviewed Polymath on Amazon after I finished it. Enjoyable read and honestly dead center of the flavor zone from the Realm of Essences books.

Unknown said...

Hmmmm seems That only 4 other folks have posted reviews. I sincerely hope more than the 5 of us read the book as it was quite good. Of the 9 offered, Sledgehammer Concerto is the only one I have not previously acquired. I plan on getting 'The Warm Lands' and taking it with me on vacation to read while holding down the hammock.

Francis W. Porretto said...

Gamegetter: You don't need to have purchased a book at Amazon to post a review of it there. (The same is true for Barnes & Noble.) Go right ahead.

Unknown: Please be aware that "The Warm Lands" is only about 8,000 words, rather than novel-length. I hope you'll enjoy it, but it won't take you long to finish it, so make sure you have other reading material for your trip.

Anonymous said...

done on Amazon Francis but I think I knocked you down a bit.


jeff said...

Perhaps you should market your fiction as "unnatural male enhancements", no?

Seriously, I can't bear the thought of your weeping in despair. So, I purchased "Which Art In Hope". It's sitting in my kindle reader, and will get read after I finish a John D. MacDonald novel. I'm sure you'll agree that that's like following the Rolling Stones at Altamont, but having read a couple of your short-stories, I think you'll fare not-too unfavorably.

Incidentally, I'll be wedging "Which Art In Hope" in front of Forrest Carter's "Josey Wales" and CS Lewis's Anthology plus 4-5 remaining MacDonald works in the Travis McGee series, but again, I can't stand even the hint of your weeping. I shan't promise a review, because the state's thugs may apprehend me before I get to finishing it (mild dyslexia makes a slow reader).

Keep up the great work, sir.

GamegetterII said...

This is what I get at Amazon-since I don't buy stuff through Amazon,apparently I have to make a purchase before I an review a book...

"To submit a customer review: you need to use an Amazon account that has successfully been charged for a purchase. Free digital downloads don't qualify (including free Kindle books, apps, videos, or MP3s) as well as any free promotional items received. You don't need to have purchased the product you're reviewing. Learn more about writing customer reviews."

Dean Kling said...

Sold! I would be glad to do a review of Shadow Of A Sword (Realm of Essences Book 3). my address is, prefer .mobi.


Francis W. Porretto said...

Oops! Sorry about that, Game. I didn't realize they had tightened their policy that way. Time was, anyone could review any product. I suppose they must have had some complaints about "robot reviews."

Backwoods Engineer said...

Keep the free book; I think I own them all (even the Smashwords ones).

Alright, alright, I promise I will make some time to do some reviews, in thanks for all that you've done for me, and the food for thought you've given me.

Appreciate you, Fran.

Anonymous said...

Read "Prices" while waiting for our delayed IAD inbound to get here... thoroughly enjoyed it. On the way to review it at Smashwords now, then Warm Lands on the Kindle. (it's 0245 now, IAD isn't due for another 1/2 hour. ..sigh)
Grandpa (stormfriend)

Anonymous said...

I would be willing to do this. I enjoy your blog and started reading the preview of Which art in hope. I would like to read that book if this offer is still open.

BGnad said...

So, which book do I start with?

Tim Turner said...

Chosen One review posted at Amazon. Hadn't realized I'd already posted a review for Which Art in Hope.

BGnad, I'd suggest you start with Chosen One. It's a great intro to Fran's writing, and I STRONGLY suggest reading the 3 books in the Realm of Essences series. You're going to love Christine and Sumner! :)

Karl said...

Dibs on Sledgehammer Concerto. Always happy to help out a comrade!

Just bought the kindle version. Give me time - I'm knee deep in several other books at the moment. I'll post my review on Amazon and

Stewart said...

You know, sometimes one just needs a kick in the pants. For the years that I've consumed your blog material, I've never purchased one of your books.

Well, I'm with Jeff on this one. Just purchased "Which Art in Hope", and I'll start reading it tonight when I get home to the Kindle.

The image of a Certified Galactic Intellect weeping in despair was too much for me.

Anonymous said...


Been reading your blog for awhile. I'm on a 'Temporary Total Disability' thing for the next few weeks (knee surgery) and would be glad help out. What title do you suggest I start with?

peskw58 at comcast dot net

Groman said...

I randomly choose The Sledgehammer Concerto, admittedly because its title reminded me of the album Hamurger Concerto by Focus from the mid seventies. It was a favorite of mine back in the day. More to the point, you can definitely write. Great character development coupled with an intrguiging story and metaphysical concepts. I enjoyed it and recommend it.

Unknown said...

I was recently introduced to your blog by the Rott Empire. I hate having missed it all these years. Being currently 'out of read', and on an extremely limited budget (as I appear to be involuntarily retired, thanks to our Glorious Leader), I'd be pleased to read one of your novels and then review it. I leave the selection of novel to you, as they all look fairly interesting. thanks,

Anonymous said...

Mr. Poretto,

If it is not too late, for a free copy, I will give a Smashwords review for _Which Art In Hope_.

Thank you.

Phillip Buchanan
(mignon510 at bellsouth dot net)