Tuesday, June 30, 2020

New Depths In “Journalism”

     The incredible absurdities that so-called reporters will commit for the ghost of a change to defame or discredit President Trump have reached a new depth:

     Yet people have been writing to ask me why I’ve been posting so much less frequently on political topics.

     I propose that the press secretary of the president of the United States be granted a limited immunity to the laws against assault with a deadly weapon, to be implemented thus:

  • The press secretary shall be licensed to carry a firearm during all press conferences. The firearm shall be limited to 9 mm caliber or below.
  • The press secretary shall be provided with a full magazine for that firearm, one only.
  • The press secretary may fire his firearm at any reporter who asks him what he deems a completely stupid question. The press secretary may continue to fire until he has inflicted a visible wound upon the selected reporter. The press secretary is indemnified against any and all consequences of doing so.
  • However, the press secretary shall not deliberately cause the death of the reporter. Should a reporter die as a result of any exercise of this privilege, the determination as to whether his death was deliberate shall rest with the president.
  • This privilege shall not be exercised more than three times during any given press conference. Upon the third exercise of this privilege, the press conference shall immediately be terminated.

     Pour encourager les autres, don’t y’know.


Eric Wilner said...

I've thought for many years that the Press Sec should be armed with a paintball gun, or at least a pie.

Eaton Rapids Joe said...

May I suggest "One magazine per day"

Reporters seem to breed like mosquitoes.

Francis W. Porretto said...

(chuckle) Good catch, Joe.

paul scott said...

Take a swab as they go down >Covid 1984 victims, thats all.