Friday, July 27, 2018


     The portion of the basement of the Fortress of Crankitude that we use for storage is filled with a number of things. Excess dishes and mugs, special-purpose appliances, bits of sporting equipment unused since the Deluge, and the sort of stuff departing children leave behind and parents can’t bring themselves to discard. However, some are more functional, such as my ever-expanding collection of power tools. Recently, owing to a cabinetry chore, I added a Milwaukee cordless screwdriver to the pile, which brought about this exchange:

FWP: I think I now own one of every power tool ever invented.
CSO: No you don’t! You don’t have a bandsaw.

FWP: Well, unless you have a band that needs sawing...
CSO: Or a pneumatic nail gun. Or a...a...a jackhammer!

FWP: What would I use a jackhammer for? They’re only good for breaking up concrete.
CSO: You could use it to make holes in the streets.

FWP: Naah, we get those gratis.
CSO: Hm. Good point.

     Ah, marriage! What a wonderful institution! (Are you ready for life in an institution?)

1 comment:

JC said...

I don't need a jackhammer. My old college buddy Liz, who lives around the corner has a jackhammer. But I have 3 angle grinders, and 2 each of cordless drill motors, circular saws, and reciprocating saws. Also post hole diggers, which is odd, since I live in an apartment which only very rarely needs post holes. 3 plungers, although the apartment has only one bathroom. Somehow, I have ended up with no fewer than 5 vacuum cleaners, despite being (a)in an apartment, with (2) mostly woodfloors, and (III)a bachelor. Maybe I could trade some of the spare vacuum cleaners for something useful. Like a chainsaw.