Monday, September 23, 2019

Day Off

A Decalogue Of Disgruntlement:

My lawn tractor won’t start.
We’re almost out of firewood.
It’s time to clean the fireplace.
My cleaning lady retired yesterday.
Spiders have colonized my front porch.
There are raccoons in the eaves of my barn.
The hot water heater isn’t heating the water.
Vendors keep sending me cardboard to recycle.
My dog Sophie, a nine year old German Shepherd mix, is limping again.
My dog Precious, a nine year old Pit Bull mix, keeps tracking mud into the house.

     And, as a cherry to go on top of the slag heap, at 4:51 AM EDT I discovered that we’re completely out of coffee.

     I need a day to cope. See you tomorrow.


FredLewers said...

Out of coffee??? My advice is to immediately execute the lowest ranking stooge to send a message to the rest about performance requirements...
Running or of coffee??? That can have very detrimental effect on your loquacious verbosity.

ligneus said...

Reminds me of a strip cartoon I saw in UK many years ago, the captions on the pics were:
The grass needs cutting.
The hen house should be cleaned out.
I promised the wife I'd sort out the junk in the attic.
I think I'll have my coffee, that will get one thing done.

And you can't even do that!