Monday, February 17, 2020

A Gift For My Readers

     By dint of a great and protracted effort that has wearied me so completely that upon the completion of this brief piece I plan to take my Kindle to my recliner, recline to the maximum, lay my Kindle gently over my face, and snore away the day, I have completed the capture of what might be the most incendiary document available during this presidential campaign season:

THE PORTABLE BLOOMBERG:
THE WIT AND WISDOM
OF MICHAEL BLOOMBERG

     ...which bills itself as a collection of exact quotations from the Tiny Tyrant of the Big Apple, gathered from the lips of his employees. Quite a lot of the sayings compiled therein are funny. Some are moderately insightful. And a whole lot are...well, let’s just say they’re not for cocktail parties, unless by “cocktail party” you mean beers around the pool table at the local gin mill.

     It is my belief that should this document get into general circulation, the little guy would be tarred, feathered, and run out of the country on a rail. (Yes, yes, he deserves worse for what he did to New York City, but some measures remain beyond the power of even a Curmudgeon Emeritus.) So if you’re opposed to having Bloomberg as the Democrats’ presidential nominee (or for that matter as anything above a sewer worker in Istanbul), email me to that effect and I’ll send you a copy of this delightful publication in return.

     And with that, it’s time for a nice lie-down.

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