Sunday, February 23, 2020

You’re Not Crazy, It’s The Rest Of The World Dept.

     This might not strike you as news, but there are...persons, many of them walking about unconfined and unsupervised, who aren’t quite aligned with reality as we know it. Most don’t commit horrific crimes, or defraud millions of people, or even run for office. Yet to encounter one of them can be a jarring experience.

     As I avoid other people almost as assiduously as I skirt open cesspools, my typical day is free of such occurrences. However, as a news junkie I’m at perpetual risk of encountering a story about one of them, possibly including an unguarded statement or two the reporter thought colorful. Mostly I’m braced for such collisions, but to find one in the Wall Street Journal, of all places, threw me for a loop:

     “You can’t be vegan if you eat avocados,” said a teenage brother to his sister in a family that I know. “Avocados are violent.”

     That boy was left unnamed for good and sufficient reasons. He probably attends a government-run school. Possibly even the one that confines your spratlings several hours per day. And his parents might be neighbors to you or someone you love. Think about it.


mobius said...

Never trust an avocado.

JWM said...

They are sneaky, oily little buggers. Deceptive, too: brown on the outside, green in the middle. One would do well to avoid them. My wife got mugged by some guacamole, and gained three pounds.


evilfranklin said...


At least it's not a watermelon.