Not because he treats women with respect, although he might.
Not because he looks for peaceful solutions, and resists fighting. Many men do, without looking like a wimp.
It's because he hasn't had those life experiences that make a man. Some guys get it from having survived a war. Some have had childhoods that would have broken a lesser man. Whatever the origin, they were tested by life, and passed that trial.
Some guys project that "don't mess with me, or you will regret it" vibe. They don't have to be big guys, or even win those fights. They just have some confidence that you will regret starting anything. They will last long enough to put some hurt on you.
Those guys with the chiselled bodies don't impress me. Those are 'show muscles'. And, those are the ones that are shown in most modern movies. They are 'roid-assisted' muscles, not functional ones.
9 comments:
The list on HoA was pretty interesting. As an old man in hid 60's I can relate to a lot of those experiences. That being said, there is nothing that compensates for being in shape. If you don't have the discipline and awareness to take care of yourself, that says a lot to me. Notice that Schwarzenegger's body started looking like crap while he was governor of CA, reflecting the disorder in his mind. Took a lot of work and discipline to get back to it, especially after heart surgery.
I'd add the ability to wrench, do construction, or other work in the real world that requires training, apprenticeship, or earned knowledge and skill (innate or acquired). It's amazing to me the people even in my age group that have wasted their lives without learning how to do so much as change a goddamn tire.
These people are slaves to those that can, and it costs them not only in money, but in self respect every time they take their car to the shop with no clue as to what is wrong other than it's throwing a fault code or 'making a funny noise'. If we end up in a SHTF situation, their only utility will be as pack animals, and only then if they don't make too much noise.
You really can't become confident, if you depend on your cell phone to change a flat. With those that didn't have the luxury of having someone come "save" them, there were few options, and one required maybe walking for miles in the night only to be ridiculed, or scorned, for leaving the life blood of a family on the side of the road.
About six months ago I was talking with the owner of the fab shop where I'm having the equipment I design fabricated for my customer. The welder who worked on it is a former Marine.
Apparently he told the owner of the shop that he thought I was not a person to cross. Interesting. I've NEVER talked about guns, or my staunch conservatism. It seems I "project" something feral. (Which is weird because, visually, I'm not much to look at. I'm not tall, I'm certainly not beefcake muscular...)
Yeah, I once tried to change a flat with my cell phone, but the phone was metric and the lug nuts were British Imperial system. What a bummer.
Seriously, HoD, Jess: a little modesty would be appropriate. You might both be Renaissance Men; as I don’t know either of you, I have no idea. But to pour contempt on others who lack the skills you’ve mastered or the degree of fitness and endurance you’ve maintained is to praise yourself by implication. It’s unseemly and unworthy. To quote my most beloved character:
“Reticence about your abilities is a better policy no matter how confident you are about them for precisely that reason. Don’t trumpet them; simply use them. Others will notice, and they’ll notice your taciturnity as well. They’ll start to speculate about what you can do that they haven’t seen yet, always in your favor. It’ll do more for your reputation than any amount of bragging or any number of PR agents.” [Polymath]
Verbum sat sapienti.
Hey, Mr. Porretto. Wasn't trying to crap on others. Apologies if it came off that way. I more feel sorry for them.
I'm older, so the references I use are from experience.
When younger, I had a safety net, but using it required admitting I was defeated by whatever circumstance that arrived. Conquering the event was a matter of personal pride, and was not an effort to belittle others for their lack of skills.
After years of supervising younger folks, I've found they have the same drive of generations past, but their lives were shaped by those that were willing to subvert the basic tenets of being a male in our society. Overprotected, they weren't allowed to "get dirty" and take chances that could be somewhat dangerous. Not only were they deprived of experience, society lost part of its foundation. Foreign workers have taken their spot, and more people in our society are dependent on something they are qualified to perform.
"It is the cold glitter in the attacker's eye, not the point of the questing bayonet, that breaks the line." ~ General George S. Patton, Jr.
I developed that cold glitter myself growing up smaller than most, in a rough neighborhood, with a school system that had daily fights between students. Took my lumps, learned how to be dangerous, and cheerful about it to boot. After a while, no one messed with me... or my friends.
Carries with me to this day - fake toughs see bad things in the cold glitter in my eye. Still don't think much of bullies and abusive folks, and when I recognize them and don't respond to their crap the way they want, they notice and start not liking me much. Kinda what gets me in trouble with the self-appointed saviors of the woobies that people call SJW's these days.
They're always whining about victimization. Me, I don't see why people have to be victims. I was a victim: now I'm not, because I made myself not a victim. If you don't want to be a victim, it's not up to someone else, it's up to you. Find out how the evil that hurts you works, learn how to spot it... and learn how to be goddamn dangerous. Best cure for PTSD - fight back.
I didn't get the impression from HoD's and Jess' posts that you did. Changing a tire has become a symbol or landmark separating those who know from those who don't (for whatever reason). The OP might receive the same rebuke.
Anyway, it's not that young people don't know how to do stuff; it's that the stuff they do know how to handle, is of questionable utility - at least to those of the prepper or patriot mindset.
It's also about how you deal with things you don't know, since everyone runs into that situation now and then. Either give a try at fixing it yourself, or resort to calling for help immediately. I think we can agree that too many do the latter.
I have to laugh (sadly) at how much a big deal changing a lightbulb has become, on the Korean shows I've been watching lately.
Circling back on this, I do think there is hope for our youth. See the Rich Rebuilds, SamCrac, Tavarish, or vTuned garage channels for guys rebuilding cars. They have pretty big followings. Much better faire than Top Gear.
Once you know how to do things, you stand a little taller, and, yeah, give off a vibe that some might take as 'don't f@ck with me', but is really 'been there, done that'.
Anyway, all is not lost. America is full of men that can take care of business.
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