Thursday, September 24, 2020


     The Fortress of Crankitude is a rather busy, interesting place. Along with myself and a mountain of books, records, electronics, and power tools I’m still struggling to master, there live here three dogs – German Shepherd mix Sophie, Pit Bull mix Precious, and Newfoundland puppy Joy – four cats – Chloe, Zoe, Fluffy, and Uriel the Great – and a practicing accountant: the C.S.O., a.k.a. my wife Beth. And of course we all have our preferred periodical publications. Beth’s occupationally oriented publication is titled Accounting Today.

     Just this morning, upon spying a copy of Accounting Today on the kitchen table, its title struck my mental funny bone:

FWP: Sweetie?
CSO: Hm?

FWP: If Accounting Today is the magazine for practicing accountants, shouldn’t there be a magazine for retired accountants titled Accounting Yesterday?
CSO: Why, yes! And of course we’d need Accounting Tomorrow for all the aspiring accountants who are still in school!

FWP: What an opportunity! Accounting Yesterday could publish articles about accounts in cuneiform in the days of Hammurabi, and accountants’ difficulties before the invention of the zero—
CSO: And Accounting Tomorrow would speculate about the golden days ahead once the rules of arithmetic are declared mere white patriarchal constructs!

FWP: How can we get in on this?
CSO: You know a few other writers, don’t you?
FWP: I’ll make some calls.

     (And you thought your household was bizarre.)

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